Trident Society Articles
If your loved one has passed and you're considering funeral alternatives in California, there are a few things you need to know. Trident Society understands that planning a cremation is a very personal, emotional experience, and the last thing you need is to be bogged down with the legal restrictions that come along with it. To assist you with the planning process, we have highlighted and summarized a few of California's key funeral laws:
1. A registration and permit may be required.
A person's cremated remains must be scattered by a licensed cemetery, cemetery broker, crematory, registered cremated remains disposer, funeral establishment staff member or a family member. If you aren't relying on a licensed service to help you, California requires that you, or another member of your family who will preside over the ceremony, register as a cremated remains disposer. To receive an application, contact the Department of Consumer Affairs, Cemetery and Funeral Bureau's Licensing Unit at (916) 574-7870 or fill out an online form on the bureau's website. After you've submitted your completed application, a registration fee of $100 is required. Learn more about what type of information a cremated remains disposer application asks for.
If you're already registered, make sure that you don't need to renew your license, as the application expires annually on September 30th. To successfully renew your license, you will have to submit an annual report including information on the occasions you've scattered cremation remains over the past year.
In addition to registering, you will need to obtain a California Disposition Permit from your local local registrar of births and deaths. If the death occurred in the state of California your funeral and/or cremation provider can assist you in this process. If the death occurred outside of California you may contact the registrar located in the county you wish to scatter for assistance. It's important to closely follow all rules, as it's considered a misdemeanor if you're caught disposing of remains without having completed and submitted the appropriate forms, even if you're a family member of the deceased.
2. There are dos and don'ts of how to scatter.
Once you're registered, getting a firm grasp on how and where you can lay your loved one to rest in accordance with California's laws can be overwhelming. Here are a few ways you can memorialize your loved one and minimize the stress of this process.
"The state has no laws against keeping cremated remains at a church or religious structure."
In California, you're allowed to place cremated remains in a columbarium or mausoleum. You're also able to bury them on cemetery grounds or scatter them in a cemetery garden. If you're religious, the state has no laws against keeping cremated remains at a church or religious structure if deemed legal by local zoning laws. You can keep them at home with a permit by signing an agreement that you will dispose of the cremated remains at your death.
3. Scattering on land, at sea, and by air have different rules
If you want to scatter the cremated remains on a private property or federal land that may have been special to your loved one, you must first get written permission from the owner and a California disposition permit.
You may scatter cremated remains at sea, but you have to notify the Environmental Protection Agency 30 days in advance. The federal Clean Water Act also requires that you be at least 500 yards from the shore. The EPA prohibits the scattering of cremated remains at beaches or small natural pools by the sea. You are not permitted to scatter in lakes, rivers, or streams. If you plan to keep the cremated remains in their container, it must easily decompose, or you will have to dispose of it separately.
Many people like to scatter their loved one's cremated remains by air, and while California hasn't enforced any laws on this, individuals aren't allowed to drop any objects that could potentially injure people or property, according to federal law. Be sure to remove the cremated remains from their container and obtain a California disposition permit prior to scattering.
Spreading loved ones' cremated remains at a place that was important to them can be a great way to honor their memories and the lives they lived. To make sure this is done safely and respectfully, be sure to look up information on your local and state laws first. For more information on why choosing cremation may be right for your loved one, be sure to visit the Trident Society to help answer all of your questions.
After a veteran family member passes away, there are a number of items to take care of. Ideally, you've taken the time well in advance to lay out the financial, practical, and logistical steps - that way, you avoid worrying about logistics while you should be spending time remembering your loved one with your family. With that said, in the aftermath of the funeral and end-of-life arrangements, you should consider how to continue honoring your veteran family member in the months and years to come.
To create a successful memorial, you'll want to consider a few things, like how easy it will be for family from across the country to participate, what the costs might look like, and how it can stand the test of time. Before we get into a few suggestions, one thing is clear: Cremation lends itself better to more creative, lasting, and poignant memorials. If that's the route your loved one chooses, there are plenty of options.
Divide The Remains Among Family Members
Sometimes the best memorial is the one that can subtly stay with you day in and day out. When your loved one is cremated, your family has the chance to divvy up the remains in elegant urns or receptacles and keep them in a safe, clean place. That's a great option, because different family members can keep the remains in a way that makes the most sense for each of them individually.
Think Outside The Urn
Who says you need to limit your memorials to traditional receptacles? If you want to look for another method, there are a bevy of options. Huffington Post has a good list of inspiration. Consider these, in particular:
- Bury the cremated remains in the soil and plant a tree
- Create a personalized glass paperweight infused with the cremated remains
- Commission an artist to incorporate the cremated remains into paints and create a piece of art
Commit To A Columbarium
While an urn or an item derived from cremated remains is a simple, elegant option, you can also memorialize your loved one in a columbarium - a small building full of your loved one's keepsakes, remains, and memorials. For veterans, this option opens up a world of possibility. Often, military servicemen and women leave behind a treasure trove of gear, awards, letters, and other items from their time in the military. A columbarium would allow your family to gather these memories in one place for everyone to visit and enjoy.
No matter which option you choose, your loved one will be able to live on in your family's memory for a long time. Just remember to plan ahead and take time to talk to your veteran family member, so he can have a say in how he's remembered.
Trident Society is proud to welcome Mike Delgadillo to its team of caring funeral professionals. As the new service manager of Trident Society in San Diego, CA, he will be assisting families with caring and respectful cremation services.
“Death can be a scary unknown; and, as a licensed funeral director I can shed light into the process,” Delgadillo said.
Delgadillo has been in the funeral business for over 15 years and joined Trident Society earlier this year. He strives to be active in his community as a member of four Chamber of Commerce Boards. He is also a proud member of the Lightbridge Hospice Foundation, dedicated to funding programs and services for hospice patients and their loved ones in San Diego County.
As he moves forward with Trident Society, Delgadillo has the opportunity to work with many members in his community as they plan cremations services for themselves or a loved one. His experience as a licensed funeral director will be put to use helping people through the toughest times in their lives. The Trident Society San Diego staff stands behind him to usher in a renewed era of care and compassion while servicing local families.
“We are working to make sure we are available for every customer who calls us, care for loved ones in a timely manner, and reach out into the community to get more involved,” said Delgadillo.
Trident Society has been helping California families plan cremation services for themselves and their loved ones for over 15 years. Under the new leadership of Delgadillo, Trident Society San Diego plans to review its current process to make sure each family continues to receive dignified care throughout the cremation process. With prepaid packages designed to meet all wishes and budgets, Trident Society offers a wide range of options and opportunities for personalization to reflect the unique lives serviced.
Trident Society also offers special cremation packages for veterans as our way of thanking them for their service. San Diego staff can assist veterans and their loved ones in reviewing their options and choosing local veteran cemeteries for interment. Trident Society also helps veterans apply for and receive benefits from the government including a memorial flag, a Presidential Certificate, and a funeral or memorial service with military honors.
More information about cremation with Trident Society San Diego can be found online. Delgadillo and his team of cremation experts are prepared to answer any questions about cremation. Trident Society San Diego (FD #1921) is located at 9242 Miramar Road, Suite 37 in San Diego, CA 92126.
If you haven't seen or heard about the fun-loving movie The Bucket List, then it's definitely something to add to your list. Beg, buy or borrow a copy and prepare to laugh and cry. Many people have created a list of things they want to do before they "kick the bucket". Whether young or old, now is the perfect time to revisit forgotten dreams, achieve long-lost goals and live a renewed life. From trips around the world to learning a new skill to considering funeral and cremation plans, your bucket list is limited only by your imagination. Consider the following tips and ideas to get you started... "Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows." - Pope Paul VI, Italian Pope (1897 - 1978).
Travel Near and Far
One of the most common items found on people's bucket lists are travel hotspots. From Las Vegas to exotic tropical islands, there are endless possibilities of places to go. While many of these vacation spots offer leisure, fun and adventure, consider places that hold special meaning. Research your genealogy and explore the geography of your ancestors. Maybe you'll find a long-lost cousin and build memories that last a lifetime.
Seek an Adventure
Skydiving and other thrill-seeking adventures are often at the top of bucketeers' lists. If you've had your mind set on doing these types of activities, by no means cross them off. Rather, dig deep down and think outside the box. What is your passion? If you're an animal lover, perhaps you'll enjoy snorkeling with manatees in Belize or taking a picture with a tiger in Thailand. If you love flowers, you may want to tiptoe through the tulips in the lush gardens of some far-off palace.
You're never too old to keep in shape or try a new workout. Yoga has become very popular, and many variations are low impact. In fact, you can find instructors offering courses at postcard-perfect settings, like Florida beaches. There are many ways to stay fit, from learning how to ballroom dance to water aerobics. Ever dreamed of being a mermaid? There are classes for that too!
Become a Foodie
Throughout life, you may find yourself eating the same old thing. Eating is a necessity, but it doesn't have to be boring. Think like a foodie and try some new local cuisine from small mom-and-pop shops to ritzy upscale restaurants. Test your taste buds and explore authentic ethnic foods. It allows you to experiencing another country's culture without leaving your own neighborhood.
Go Back to School
If you never got a high school diploma or always wanted to get a college or advanced degree, there's no better time than the present. Special programs exist at many schools for students over 60, and some programs are tuition-free. Take a class or two and learn something new. You never know, it could lead to other long-term opportunities.
Let the Music Play
Researchers have shown that music has many benefits. Even if you didn't grow up being a band nerd or music buff, the fiddle, guitar or piano are always there for the intrepid learner. Learn how to read music or play an instrument by taking lessons from a local instructor or by watching YouTube videos. Be a star for a night and try your hand at karaoke.
Be a Leader
Did you ever dream of being a doctor or a leader among your peers but life took you down another path? There are many volunteer opportunities just waiting for someone like you. Offer to read to patients or share a special skill you possess. Teach a class or start a local club for those interested in participating in the same activities as you. This is a great way to make new friends while sharing an old or new found passion.
Review Your Finances
If you haven't taken time to assess your finances, add it to your bucket list. Make sure everything is in place for your future. From retirement savings to your written will, it pays to be prepared and avoid continued procrastination.
Consider making final arrangements for cremation or funeral services. While many people don't like to talk about or plan for it, it can actually be enjoyable. Secure a beautiful burial plot or pick out a unique urn that represents you. Sit down and let the creative juices flow and write your own personal epitaph or obituary. Having things in order will make it easier on those left behind.
Take some time and go out on a fun date. It doesn't matter if you're married or not. Be daring and find a date on a reputable dating site. Or simply go out by yourself in memory of a love lost. Enjoy a fair and ride the Ferris wheel like kids again. Pack a picnic lunch and take a walk in your favorite park.
Creating a bucket list can be inspiring, rejuvenating and potentially life changing. It doesn't have to involve expensive faraway trips or risk-taking adventures. It's simply another way to live life to the fullest before "kicking the bucket".
Walking through grief and loss is never easy, even when you have decades of experience doing just that. For a child who has never experienced the death of a loved one, it can be both terribly sad and frighteningly confusing.
It's tempting to protect a child from the pain of loss, but downplaying the reality and permanency of death does a child a great disservice.
Imagine, for instance, how confusing it would be to be told Grandma is "just sleeping." That child will then expect to see Grandma again when she wakes up, or become terrified that other loved ones will go away forever if they go to sleep at night. Speaking openly, using age-appropriate language and offering lots of support are the best ways to help a child cope with death.
Ideally, all adults in the child's life will take their cues from the child's parents about how to talk about death, particularly if you don't share the same religious beliefs. If one trusted adult talks about seeing the deceased in Heaven and another tells the child Heaven doesn't exist, that gets confusing. Here are some tips on how to speak to everyone from toddlers to teens about death and dying.
Talking to Toddlers and Preschoolers
Researchers have found that children younger than five typically can't grasp the concept that death is permanent and irreversible. Because of this, you should use simple language and literal explanations to explain death. Say something like "Grandpa's body stopped working because he was old. We won't be able to see him anymore. But we will always remember him and love him."
Expect for young children to repeat their questions or express confusion over and over again. Keep your answers the same, saying things like "The doctors weren't able to fix his body" and "His body got very sick, and then it stopped working."
It's difficult for a child this age to understand that every living thing, including herself and her family, will eventually die. If she starts to ask about this, you can say something like "One day your body will stop working too. But that will happen a very, very long time from now."
Kids this age are hugely comforted by routine and consistency. Repeating the same information may feel frustrating, but doing so helps the child work through this new experience.
Talking to School-Age Children
Typically a child can understand that death is permanent by about age seven. Just as you would with a toddler, use concrete and literal language when talking to a school-age child. You can explain the basics of the illness or accident that caused the person's death. Children this age also need to understand that the condition that caused the death isn't something that's likely to happen to them when they get sick. Say something like "Marie had cancer, which is a sickness that made some unhealthy cells grow in her body. It's a very serious sickness, not like when you have a cold or when Dad had the flu. The doctors gave her lots of medicine, but they weren't able to fix the cancer and she died."
Help a school-age child cope by encouraging him to come to you with any questions or to share any feelings. Explain that whatever he's feeling is okay.
Talking to Teenagers
A teenager in your life may understand the permanence and irreversibility of death, but don't expect her to react to loss the same way an adult might. Teens are still children, and it's normal for them to be confused, angry, sad, scared and more, all at the same time.
When a teen in your life experiences death, explain what caused it and give her some time and space to sort through her feelings. Remind the teen that you are always available to talk, answer questions or just listen, but don't be surprised if she doesn't take you up on the offer. Kids this age tend to prefer talking to peers or people outside of their families, so encourage her to speak to her friends or guidance counselor if she doesn't want to talk to you. You might also suggest she write in a private journal or spend some time making art that expresses her feelings.
Grieving teenagers sometimes take unsafe risks or act out at home or in school. Adults should monitor her behavior closely and reach out to the school guidance counselor or a grief counselor for help if necessary.
Preparing for Death
When a child's loved one is dying, don't hide it from him or her. If possible, you may want to give the child the chance to visit with the person. Let it be his choice. For instance, say something like, "Uncle Peter is very sick, and the doctors aren't able to help him get better. He is going to die soon. Would you like to go visit him?" If the child does want to go, talk about what will happen when you get to the hospital and what Uncle Peter's body might look like right now.
Coping After Death
Don't shield a child from a funeral or wake because you're worried it will be too sad. Instead, let the child choose whether to attend. Again, use age-appropriate language to describe exactly what happens at a funeral. Talk about who will be there, how people will act, what the child will see and whether there will be an open coffin, closed coffin or cremation urn. Don't push or shame a child who chooses not to attend.
Grieving doesn't end when the funeral does. Help a child remember the deceased by creating a memory book or planting a tree in the person's honor, and set aside time for the two of you to celebrate the life of the loved one who has passed.