Barbara Douglas Nelson

8-3-36 to 4-11-19

I am sorry to say that Barbara passed in the early evening on Thursday, 4-11-19.

After completing her degree at Occidental College, she worked briefly in New York before marrying her first husband, Donald Douglas, in 1959. They moved to France, where they lived for seven years, and Barbara had her three children, Chris Lynn, Kent, and Tracy. After returning to California, she began a 35-year career teaching reading, English and history, teaching at Chapman College, Huntington Beach High School and eventually La Contenta Middle School in Yucca Valley, California. She divorced her first husband in 1976, and then married Chris Nelson in 1984. They moved to Yucca Valley two years later and lived there till her passing.

Barbara was a photographer, poet and artist, sharing her splendid vision with friends and family. She generally painted abstracts, often focusing on grid patterns whose rhythm and rich use of color belied the seemingly rigid formalism of the work. Her writing, influenced by poets such as Robert Bly, Deena Metzger, and W. S. Merton, generally focused on personal relations and the natural world, often infusing them with spiritual themes. She also took delight in making quilts and knitting lap warmers and blankets, which she gave to friends and family and donated to hospitals. Well into the age of electronic mail, she hand wrote a steady stream of post cards and letters. The cards, often with her own photos on them, now sit on desks and bedside tables, rest beneath magnets on refrigerator doors, and line photo books in homes across the country.

She was a Christian, but she also explored a variety of spiritual practices, including Yoga and Buddhism. She was not a church goer, but rather sought the spiritual path within daily life and relations with people. When she faced hardships or found anger or resentment in her heart, she usually addressed such challenges openly, asking what God was trying to teach her and how she could change her own feelings. She always sought to mend things in herself and the world.

Perhaps more than anything else, Barbara will be remembered for simply listening. She was truly interested in others of all sorts. From the very young to the very old, friends, family and total strangers all found in Barbara an open heart and compassionate mind that genuinely wanted to know them and share in their lives. The Dalai Lama said “My religion is kindness.” Few people have practiced this religion with more joy and sincerity than Barbara. She will be missed, of course, but she is with us all the same.