Ellen H. Haffner

Ellen H. Haffner, cherished mother, grandmother, educator, traveler, and friend, passed away on August 10, 2026, surrounded by her family. She was 92 years old and lived happily in her home until her passing.

Ellen was born on July 9, 1934, in Wilmette, Illinois. She graduated from New Trier High School in 1952 and went on to attend Ohio Wesleyan University, where she earned her degree in child psychology. She later pursued graduate studies and earned her teaching credential, beginning what would become a lifelong commitment to children, education, and learning.

One of the defining experiences of Ellen’s young life came in the summer of 1954, when a generous neighbor, Colonel Elizabeth Fitch, gave her the extraordinary opportunity to travel to Europe aboard the Queen Mary with the neighbor’s granddaughter. At just 20 years old, Ellen crossed the Atlantic and traveled through England, Holland, Belgium, Switzerland, Germany, and Italy.

That journey awakened in Ellen a lifelong love of travel, different cultures, and the wider world. It was an experience she never forgot. Fittingly, 50 years later, Ellen celebrated her 70th birthday aboard the Queen Mary in Long Beach Harbor with a family dinner and an overnight stay—a wonderful return to the ship that had helped open the world to her as a young woman.

After college, Ellen and two girlfriends set off for California with little more than a trunk of clothes, a sense of adventure, and youthful ambition. She soon found work teaching kindergarten and began building a new life in California.

It was there, while playing chess at her apartment in San Mateo, that Ellen met Arlen Haffner. The two fell in love and were married on July 4, 1959. They were married for 31 years and together raised their four daughters.

As her family grew, Ellen brought her love of teaching closer to home, opening a preschool at the family’s Menlo Park residence. For several years, she taught young children there while remaining close to her own daughters. Later, when the family spent time in Mexico, Ellen continued her passion for education at Colegio MacDonald, where she taught summer school and formed friendships that lasted throughout her life.

Ellen’s curiosity about the world went far beyond travel. She had a genuine interest in people—their cultures, their stories, and their lives. That spirit was deeply reflected in her involvement with First United Methodist Church of Palo Alto, where she had been a member since the 1960s.

Her church community was an important part of Ellen’s life. She participated enthusiastically in church activities and especially treasured the annual Family Camp gatherings in Sonora, which became beloved family traditions.

Ellen also devoted herself to humanitarian outreach through the church and Church World Service. Over the years, she and her family opened their home to refugee families, exchange students, and visitors from around the world, including people from China, Vietnam, Bulgaria, and Afghanistan. What began as hospitality often became lasting friendship. Ellen stayed connected with many of these families for decades, reflecting her remarkable ability to welcome people into her life and make them feel at home.

At the age of 70, Ellen embarked on yet another adventure, building a new home from the ground up. True to Ellen’s generous and welcoming spirit, her new home became a gathering place where she continued to entertain and welcome family and friends from around the world.

Above all, Ellen’s greatest joy was her family.

She is survived by her four daughters: Katherine Ellen Haffner Zoccatelli of Menlo Park, California, and her children, Stephanie Rose Zoccatelli, Christopher Serafino Zoccatelli, and Marta Alice Zoccatelli, as well as Christopher’s son and Ellen’s great-grandson, Leonardo Vittorio Zoccatelli; Victoria May Vandersteen of Eden Prairie, Minnesota, and her children, Melissa Noel Jensen and her husband, Dane, Micah David Vandersteen, and Elyse Victoria Vandersteen; Cynthia Alice Lapp of Newbury, New Hampshire, and her husband, David, and their children, Mackenzie Alice McKain and her husband, Spencer, and Jake-Ryan David Lapp and his wife, Addie; and Christina Rose Fung of Menlo Park, California, and her husband, Jason, and their sons, Jeremiah Jason Fung, Justin David Fung, and Jordan Claudio Fung.

Ellen lived her 92 years with curiosity, independence, faith, generosity, and an enduring desire to experience the world and understand the people in it. From that first voyage across the Atlantic as a young woman, to her years as a teacher and mother, to opening her home to people from across the globe, Ellen believed that life was meant to be experienced fully and shared with others—especially over a bowl of ice cream.

Her legacy lives on in her four daughters, her grandchildren and great-grandson, the many children she taught, the families she welcomed, the friendships she nurtured across continents, and the generations of her family who were shaped by her adventurous spirit and generous heart.

She will be deeply missed and lovingly remembered.

Services will be held at First United Methodist Church of Palo Alto on Saturday, August 22, 2026, at 12:00 noon,

625 Hamilton Avenue, Palo Alto, California.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to either of the following organizations:

Humanitarian Relief – UMCOR – Global Ministries

umcmission.org

Church World Service

cwsglobal.org