B.J. Nichols was one of my professors at Saint Mary's College in M Moraga CA.  I was in her Roman, Christian, and Medieval Thought Seminar in 2000.  She was a tough but fair teacher and someone who never put anyone on the spot.  Other seminar teachers made a concerted effort to draw everyone into the conversation (often to the discomfort of the students), but BJ believed that it was up to the student to speak up, or not. I appreciated that she let students be themselves and contribute in the way best suited to their personalities. I asked her early in the semester if I was talking too much. I was worried that my participation might not leave room for others. She assured me that everyone was as aware as I that participation was 20% of our grade, but that she believed it was important to let her students make up their own minds about what they wanted to contribute.  She also assured me that I was always welcome to speak my mind.  

I appreciated hearing that, because I was always a very rigorous student and always outspoken in discussion format classes like seminars, and there were times when the class felt like a personal discussion between me and Ola, another student who took the class as seriously as I did.  As we approached our final midterms, BJ took Ola and I aside and said: " You two are the best students in my class. You always bring your A-game, and the class could not function without the participation you bring to seminar.  You both have A's and neither of you needs to write a term paper.  Take a break and enjoy the end of the semester."   It was the only time EVER in my higher education, that a teacher made me feel rewarded for having busted my ass, and that I felt like my admittedly obsessive dedication to my school work was met with a much-needed break, rather than more responsibility. 

After graduation, and for many years, BJ and I kept in touch.  I will always remember her as a great teacher, great person, and friend.

BJ was my teacher at College of Marin. Because of her insights and counselling  I graduated and became a Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner. We were friends for 40 years. I will miss her VAVA Voom, her humor, her courage, her honesty and her love. Soar and fly dear friend.

BJ was my first husband’s aunt. I met her in the 1970’s  we clicked right away .  She was a gift, a treasure, a wonderful  conversationalist. We could talk about everything  . She was a reader, a nurse , a teacher , a lover of teddy bears  and an adventurer. She was well loved and she will be greatly missed . Rest well BJ 💕
To her daughter Bonnie and son Andrew  she loved you fiercely  and I am truly sorry for your loss    Love. Gail Hickson Brown

My first time meeting Barbara was taking her on her regular outing to In n Out in 2023 when Bonnie was out of town.  Turns out we both love In n Out and we ate and sat for about 2 hours chatting.  I always enjoyed talking to Barbara...she was full of stories!  I would visit Barbara whenever I came over to walk my dog with Bonnie's dog and then after she moved into assisted living I would take my dog Oscar over to visit.  She loved Oscar and they enjoyed many snuggles together.  I feel blessed to have spent time with Barbara.  I only wish I could have known her longer.  What an amazing woman!

So many options at one of mom’s favorite yarn shops in San Diego (at liberty station). She was on the hunt for gray yarn on this foray.

Mom, Andrew and Bonnie cracking up, yet again, over some silly humor- photo by Annie Nazarian, the very sweet manager of the board and care facility where Mom lived starting December 2024.

Mom at work on a gray knit hat while living at Bonnie and John’s.  I wonder how many hats she knitted in her long life of knitting, which began in Boston when she was 8 years old.

Mom loved See’s candies and is about to go to town on this box of chocolates.

2005 - At Lily Mow's 50th wedding anniversary and 70th birthday event. Patricia Webb, Diana Dunn, me, Phyllis Easterling, Lil, and BJ.

I recited this at BJ's retirement from Samuel Merritt College in 1997:  "BJ makes herself a special place in people’s lives and hearts and she certainly has in mine. One place she has is as an exemplary nurse educator. I have learned tricks of the trade from her at the same time she honored me by seeking my peer feedback on her own teaching. She regularly brings me articles she has read on cancer, computers or anything else she thinks I would find of interest.  She is loved by both her students and her patients. In a related role, she typifies what a good faculty member is in never resting on her laurels. She has been a strong contributing member to the nursing department, Samuel Merritt and St. Mary’s College committees. Anyone who has been in a meeting with her knows that she does not hesitate to speak her mind.  She has embraced computer technology both at the office and at home. It is in keeping with her artistic nature and communication skills - I know she will be busy in retirement in cyberspace.

Another place BJ holds in my heart is from knowing her in her roles as caring friend and loving sister. She and I have worried and cried though the cancers of our friends and our families. And we have been mobilized. Did you know that when the husband of one of our good friends was dying of cancer that BJ provided a myriad of valuable skills including mowing the lawn?

I could go on forever telling you tales of BJ’s kindnesses - but I will not. I will say a few words that represent some of the special things I think of when I think of you, BJ: cats, irises, Joseph, pickup trucks, foot rubs."

BJ was always knitting. Gathered for a meal in Nancy's backyard at Christmas, with Bonnie and John by her side, BJ knitted a hat while she shared stories about life, the universe and everything.

BJ was a force of nature. She was an inspiration for living life to the fullest, and enjoying family and community. She was kind, loving and strict.  A conversation with BJ could take you on a tour of the world, a deep discussion of medical and health issues, the adventure of knitting hats, scarves and all kinds of beautiful items, or simple recipes. She could break into song and harmonize with Bonnie at the drop of a hat. Bonnie and Andrew were blessed to have a beautiful, intelligent, generous, wise mother.  I will miss her, too. I loved BJ.

OBITUARY

Barbara Jean Nicholls

August 13, 1931 – August 19, 2025

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